Monday, April 30, 2007
sheesh.my back's really hurting.lol.but its okay,it'll soon be okay,i guess.Maybe i've caused too much trouble for my parents.well,that's what i think.I really think so.i mean,only very few of my friends know whats happening to me.lets just justify the number to 2.heh.yeah.
so,why do i feel that i caused too much trouble for my parents.heh,firstly,they spent over $600 for the essential equipments for me to stay in good condition.and i really mean essential for me to be in good condition.
secondly,sometimes i just feel very guilty because they have to take time off to send me and another brother to the hospital regularly.It's like once in two months or once a month they have to take time off.and then,not able to finish their work on time to get both of us to the hospital,they worked really hard[even on saturday and sunday] to like make up what they had not done the day they didn't go to work.so,i feel sad about that.actually,i dont want my whole family to know,but,oh well,they already knew before i could tell my parents not to tell anyone.
lastly,sometimes i see them quarrel on who to take time off and send either of us to the hospital.it's really tiresome and troublesome for them,i know.i mean they are tired after work,yet either of them still have to send us to the hospital regularly.i really feel it's unfair for them.
how i wished everything was alright where no one in our family suffers from whatever diseases or deficiency.haiz..how i wished.if everything and everyone was alright,nobody in my family would have to go through this.
Disheartening eh?for some maybe,and for some maybe not at all.seriously i feel bad for them.should i apologise and tell them "i'm sorry to cause a lot of trouble." or should i keep quiet and not thank them for what they had spent on me so that i could live in good shape?
now that the examinations are here again,there's always bound to be some problems that occurs within my family members.really.i hate to say this,but i really have to stay happy all the time dont i?i know i have to.i
HAVE to overcome all the sadness that im going through now and replace them with ALL SMILES.I know i can make it through..
damn,i dont wanna think about it anymore.i want to concentrate on my examinations first and then i'll look into the matter after the mid years over.sheesh.i have to get the thing off my mind temporarily.i've got to..
-i know i can't live life to the fullest after this,and so i'm enjoying it before it slowly drifts away and leaves me alone in the dark.
there it went
4:28 PM
